And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The Olympian is in my bed
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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