dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
