You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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