You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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