she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
