it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
