so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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