My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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