I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
