I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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