Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
