she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
