Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We're facebook friends in real life
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He felt like a one man threesome
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
