im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
