I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
