Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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