the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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