grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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