You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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