I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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