May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
