Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
