I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
