Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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