My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
