I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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