Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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