Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
