i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
