maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
