I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
