I must be too annoying 4 u.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
