I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
