I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
