i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
