And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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