Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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