Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize
