so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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