Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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