Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
