Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
