dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
