are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
