Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
