he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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