I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
