"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
