Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
