You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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