You made me cry and you don't even care
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
